Just watched the EO documentary ‘Thy will be done‘. A young couple is pregnant from their first child that turns out to be severely handicapped and, according to medical doctors, will die after it is born. They believe God will heal their son and make him be born healthy and alive, and they get tangled in extreme charismatic ‘faith’ teaching: just believe wholeheartedly, do not doubt, for otherwise God can’t do a miracle.
Sadly, their son is born handicapped and dies just minutes after he’s born.
How do you deal with such a thing? Unfortunately, the documentary did not really cover this. What I did observe was a very unnatural way of believing. It looked like believing in faith, rather than believing in God. At the same time: what’s the difference? How do you believe God for a miracle wholeheartedly, while at the same leaving room for Him to act differently?
It seems to me their faith did not come supernatural, but was imposed – outside in instead of inside out.
The end of the story struck me deep. First of all – we know the mother from the documentary. Secondly: we too lost a son, stillborn at the time of Newyears’ Eve (exactly 5 1/2 years ago on 01-01-00). We too had to bury him – me carrying the coffin, Mira in a wheelchair. We too prayed for a miracle, even after he had died.
And although circumstances were much different, we too went through a deep process of grief and pain, asking God ‘why’ and ‘how come’… and I still do not have clear answers. I don’t know why our son had to die. I do believe it was not according to God’s original plan. I believe it was not God who took him from us. But I don’t know why God did not prevent this from happening.
I do know that it started a process to a deeper relationship with God. I think it has changed our lives dramatically – to the positive. Our son’s name is Daniel Rogier – meaning ‘God is sovereign’ and ‘fighter with a spear’. And probably, through these names, God is telling something about his plan with all this – He is sovereign, above all things. He used this little man to pierce us in the heart, and maybe even many others as well. And if He can do this through our son, why not with Jeroen and Dorien’s?
For those of you who want to read more on our story: Mira wrote this article (in Dutch) for magazine ‘Groei’.